If you had to guess where I am and what I am doing, would you say “drinking along in the basement of a hostel in Prague?” Because if you did, you would be correct. I am such a loser.
Actually, the truth is, I realized it’s been an incredibly long time since I updated this website and felt it was necessary to do so. And why not drink a few beers while I’m at it. They’re “cheap” here.
The last time we spoke, I was on a ferry coming from Greece to Venice. Oh wait, I have to interrupt this and tell you about my dinner tonight. I spent 4 Canadian on gruel from a homeless shelter. No joke. I didn’t realize what was going on until it was too late. I was sitting down eating my “food”, and I looked around at the clientele’s meth scars and stained sweat pants and was terribly frightened. I am such an idiot. I thought Prague was supposed to be cheap? Whatever. Back to the story.
The ferry to Venice was terrible. Two nights on a ferry. Thirty-four hours. One of the nights was outside. The other was in a room full of people walking around and coughing. Add in two and a half bottles of wine. Messy night, messy morning. All in all, by the time I arrived in Venice I was Grumpy McGrumpster, and was not in a good mood (duh). The water streets were cool, but I think the only time I smiled the entire day was when I stumbled into some court yard place and there was a guy singing Italian opera with the most impressive voice I have ever heard. No joke. He could have shared the stage with anyone - if his teeth weren’t so ugly.
Anyway. Venice was neat, and it was cool to check it out.
You guys also voted for me to go to Vienna. I always get Venice and Vienna mixed up. But I went to both. Vienna was a really cool city. It was clean, and nice. I’m glad I got to go, even thought it was a short stay (two nights). I walked around with an Australia and saw the sights. I also spent an incridble amount of time looking for a travel alarm clock, but had no luck. I must have looked in at least 20 stores. *sigh*.
Vienna was followed by two nights in BUDAPEST! Super cool! I went there, and left, before you even knew I was gone. I really need to get better at this whole updating-the-website thing. But the city was really cool. It’s actually split in two. Buda is the walled up city of coolness, and pest is on the other side of the river. I stayed in pest. Obviously. I watched Ocean’s 13… which was cool. And I also spend a considerable amount of time longing around in the thermal baths. Super cool. There were these saunas that was super hot, but the entire time I was there I was thinking about toxic spores from other people’s bodies and I had to evacuate. I was already sick. I’m not getting sick again.
And now I am in Prague. Three nights. Then three nights in Berlin. Then down to the places in Switzerland you guys suggested. Then I have a few more days before I head up to Amsterdam. Any ideas of where I should stop before I go to my final destination?
In Australia and NZ I am going to get a cellphone and update the site on the fly. In real time. When I do something stupid, or see someone with a mullet that I just want to cut off, I’ll let you know immediately. IMMEDIATELY! Also, I really want to take the sight to the next level and let you vote on EVERYTHING. My friends, my job. My clothes. I post how much money I’m making, where I’m spending it. Blah blah blah. Crazy? Yes. But it should be fun.
Before we went to Nafplion, we were forced to stay another night in the hellhole disgusting hostel that Athens Backpackers is. Both of us were bitten by bed bugs AGAIN - and I was attacked even though I slept on top of my sheets in a polyester sleeping bag liner. They bit my arms - the only part of my exposed. Athens Backpakers, if you ever read this, please invest in some laundry detergent. It might stop your infestation. Oh, and please do a better job cleaning your washrooms. The celings are covered in mold, and the bathrooms are hairy.
Now don’t get me wrong, it is a hostel. But at 25 Euros per night, I expect it to be clean. I spent less than that on 2 hotels so far. Hotels, not hostels. Anyway. At least breakfast was decent - hard boiled eggs and toast… can’t go wrong with that.
I got an email the other day from Craig, and he suggested to me that I go check out Poisoden’s Temple. So Craig, for you, I didn’t. I wasn’t able to sneak past the Guards - Jesse wouldn’t let me and told me I was being disrespectful - and take a picture from inside, but I took some from outside. I hope that’s ok! It was a 2 hour bus-ride both ways, but it cool to see. We passed some spectacular beaches along the way.
After the temple, we headed back to Athens to train to Nafplion. Unfortuantly, training there didn’t work. So we trained - cabbed - and bused our way to the small town. But it was incredibly cool. The first night we ate at a brilliant resturant (best food I’ve had all trip and we wandered around the town at night. Beautiful.
In the morning we walked up 999 stairs. Yes, 999 stairs (good thing I am the stairmaster: level 13, 50 minutes, no hands - beat that!). The castle at the top was awesome, and it was a great way to see the city. I spent the rest of the afternoon lounging on the beach, and swimming in the clear slash turquoise water. Ha ha, certainly the kind of place you’d want to bring your love buddy. Too bad I don’t have a love buddy. Now I’m sad.
Anyway. We took a faux-romantic walk along the sea wall, and checked out the same restaurant from before. I had rabbit, and it was - like octopus - very chicken like. But delicious. And we got drunk again. Yay good cheap wine. The one restaurant had 1 euro glasses, and it was more like a half carafe. So good. I think I’m turning into an alcoholic.
The next day we had to say goodbye. Goodbye to the nice man that gave us a hotel room for 40 (20 each) per night. Goodbye to the quaint little town, Goodbye to the nice beaches, and 999 stairs. And goodbye to Greece. I’ll miss you. We bussed to Patra and waited 5 hours for our ferry ride home. Yes, 5 hours. And now I am in the smoking lounge typing away.
Unlike the first boat ride where we had a nice area to sleep, the first night we were forced to sleep outside. It was actually pretty fun and I’m glad we did it… but the second night we snuck into the middle-class lounge.
We met this crazy old German/Greek couple, and every time the husband would leave to the washroom/brush his teeth/etc., his wife would come over to us and give us food. At one point she gave us a piece of paper and asked to measure our feet. She wants to knit us socks. How cool is that. They go to Greece every year to visit her husband’s family, and they spend the rest of the time in Germany. I love her. She gave me carrots, grapes, and cookies. We said no to the wine though… because we have three bottles with us. Which, actually, we are going to open now.
Hundreds and hundreds of people swarmed the garage for disembarkation. Every time the little bridge slash ladder thing moved, they played a putrid song that I hope isn’t the Greek national anthem, because that would be a really shitty national anthem. I mean, that would be terribly ignorant and rude for me to say. Not that “Oh Canada” is anything great… I mean. I love everything about Canada. Everything.
We got off the ferry and were greeted by our hotel driver. Yup. We scored a hostel room and it included a driver. Suh weet. Hotel with a pool and a view. Take that $7 hostel. It was worth every 25 Euro.
I seriously needed to get my laundry done so we walked around looking for laundry places. We found one for 10 Euros - way too expensive. So we found another and the reception lady told us it was 6. I guess we didn’t really have a choice.
I fell in love… with Greece. Not Jesse. Crazy people, assuming things. Be careful, you could seriously get hurt making assumptions like that. Break a made-in-China heart saying things like that. Holy crap, this ferry ride is really getting to me (I wrote this 7 hours into the 8 1/2 hour trip back to Athens). Anyway. Greece is undoubtedly my favorite destination so far. We went to the grocery store, bought olives, fetta, bread, and wine. You’ve got to go to Greece. That night we watched “Battle Royal”. If you havn’t seen it, do. It’s a Japanese movie similar to Lord of the Flies… but I don’t want to give too much away.
The next day was a day I really needed. I got my hair cut, we walked around the cool streets, ate Gyros (I’ve had about 6 gyros so far - mmmmm gyros). And then we picked up our laundry. She charged us 8 Euros! I HATE YOU! CHEATER CHEATER PUMPKIN EATER! GO BACK TO YOUR LAUNDRY DUNGEON AND FOLD MORE CLOTHES.
I know, I know. It works out to only three dollars extra (Canadian)… but still. That cheat stole our money and it made me very unhappy. But my haircut made me extra happy so it balanced out in favor of a good time.
Now. Some people herd cattle. Other people herd tourists in busses. Man, these bus people on Santorini must be making a killing. Every leg of the trip is only 1 to 2 Euros… but when you add up the different places you want to go… its adds up. Multiplied by the over-capacity-ness of it all… they are doing very well for themselves.
We went to the black sand beaches close to Parissa, and the red sand beach known as Red Sand Beach. It was amazing, and reminded me of Hawaii. Hey Dad, if you are reading this… I think you should take me to Hawaii. We just caught the last bus back, and had the unfortunate experience of meeting a man named Massachusetts man. I call him that simply because he is from Massachusetts. I have nothing against Massachusetts people. Just him.
Anyway. He was telling us about how hard his travels have been because everyone he has met has been rude to him. According to him, all Italians are thieves, and there is a European conspiracy to treat travelers poorly so they spend more money on food. I couldn’t stand listening to his nonsense and I finally cracked.
“Dude. If every single person you meet is treating you like shit, shouldn’t you step back and see if you’re the one treating them like shit?” I couldn’t stand him.
I had Octopus for dinner that night. It was delicious. Tasted like chicken - seriously.
The next day Jesse and I got up early and rented ATVs. Seriously the best experience of my life. So much fun. Crusing around the island on the little cars was out of this world. There was this little off-the-beaten-track road we decided to go down, and it was a great little off-road experience. Until we got to the bottom. On the way back up the little engine that could, couldn’t deal with my fat ass, so I had to push the thing up the hill. It sucked. At last I was smart enough to figure out that I could rev the engine and run up the steep parts beside the car. I’m seriously not fat… but the car seemed to think I was. It was terribly embarrassing. But whatever. No more gelato for me.
We cruised to Oli, the little town that is on all of the post cards of Greece. It was super cool, and we ate yogurt and honey. Jesse loved it, I thought it was disgusting. It tasted like sour cream. But whatever. Its just something you do when you’re in Greece.
Beaches, roads. Everything. ATVing was awesome, and when I get to Australia - if you let me - I might buy a little moped / vespa type thing and use that to cruise around. I freaking love it.
After our little adventure, Jesse and I got ridiculously drunk and went to bed. Ha ha. No, get your head out of the gutter. We watched a movie. IN SEPARATE BEDS. Jesus people.
The next day we ate rice pudding, slept in all day, and got ready for the brutal ferry ride back to the mainland. Eight and a half hours, stuffy, and boring. But I bought playing cards with naked cartoons from greek pottery having sex on them and played solitaire. Sucks to be me. Ha ha just kidding. I’m in Greece!
“America?”
“No. Canada.”
“America?”
“No. Canada. Here’s a picture of our flag.”
“America?”
“No. Canada. Let me get my phrase book… “Kah-na-da.”
“America?”
“No. Go away.”
We arrived in Athens after a long journey from Italy. It involved two four hour train rides, a 22 hour ferry, sneaking on to a bus without paying, trying to pay for said bus and being unable to, getting incredibly drunk, watching the Office, seeing somone gable and win 300 Euros, gambling myself and losing a few Euros, and having twirl thier shirt around their head and scream “oooooooooh” much I like do… I think he must have been imitating me.
The port town we arrived in was called Patras and boy oh boy was it a shady little town. The first thing we saw after our exodus from the vehicle was a group of migrant workers leering at us through barbed-wired fences. It could have been a cover of National Geographic.
The train station we inevitably made our way to was more a train stop than a station, but we were pleasantly surprised to find that the train was free. Finally I feel like I’m getting money out of my pass. I’m sure I saved at least two Euros. Anyway. The train sucked balls. Well, not so much sucked as in caused to sweat… ew. Why did I write that. It was standing-room-only. I was fortunate enough to score a knee-to-knee seat and had a pleasant journey starring into the eyes of a random stranger. We came to an unspoken agreement to take turns stretching out one of our legs in the tiny gap between each-others’.
Two hours later.
We had to transfer to another train, and it was extremely confusing. We really had no idea what we were doing, but trusted the group and followed them onto an unmarked train.
One hour later.
Our train skipped Athens and was heading towards the airport. We were about to get off when it suddenly stopped, and started going in the opposite direction. It’s Greek to me. Did I seriously just say that? Barfy.
Athens was, despite what I heard from many people, a beautiful city. I might have to say that I preferred it to Rome. Gasp. Our first night in the hostel was out of control. We were awoken to the sound of a snoring man, nude, walking around the hostel room. He was actually snoring, while awake. When he eventually got into bed - private regions exposed to the world - he was still snoring. And mumbling inaudible worlds. I wish there was a perfect word to describe his snore. Something that means loud, like a train horn. Something that describes how the roars penetrated any earplugs - overpowered any song on any iPod. It was a brutal experience, but at last I had the satisfaction of sharing it with a few people in the hostel and laughing all night.
A few hours later another person joined the group. He started screaming at the man to be quiet - and surprisingly it worked… for about 10 minutes. In that time the screaming man fell still, and the drunk-naked-snoring-lawnmower man started up once more. Lucky for us, screaming man joined in and started talking in his sleep.
“That was an excellent battle, my friend.”
I kid you not. It was a terrible slash incredible experience. And, surprisingly, I managed to get about five hours of sleep.
The next day we did all the touristy stuff
[insert pictures]
and went to bed in preparation for our early trip to Santorini.
I wish I could say I got a lot of sleep last night. But instead of one drunk, putrid, retched man, I was lulled awake by a chorus of six. By 5:00 AM the room smelled like poo and was hot and muggy. I hope I didn’t get a staff infection.
UPDATE
I got assaulted by bed bugs in Athens. So did Jesse (my friend who I am traveling Greece with). Can you get STDs from bedbugs?
Wow. It has been an incredibly long time since I’ve been online. It pains me, actually, to be away this long. I spend several hours yesterday trying to find a wifi spot, and in Santorini as well. But nope. They seem to understand the concept of securing wifi networks here in Greece. Sigh. I decided to lighten my bank account and pay six euros for a brief dose of internet on the ferry.
Unfortunately, it is very, very slow, so I cannot inundate you with pictures and videos from my trip. Grrrrr. I’ll pick a few pictures and upload those, and do a big dump the next time I have something fast. I have 4 posts written, so I’ll release a new one every twelve hours until they are all up. In the mean time, it’s getting close to my favorite holiday, so start thinking of some halloween costumes for me. I’m only going to have one day to put it together so keep that in mind, but what I wear is up to you! Leave ideas in the comments.
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What was the first thing I did in Rome? Check into my hostel, of course. Were you expecting something exciting? Yeah? Me too. But it’s true. True like one of my biggest pet peeves - waiting for people. And, foolishly, I agreed to walk around with people as they tried to find a place to stay. There is a certainly a balance between being nice, and well, being an asshole. I often lean towards being an asshole. Ha ha, just kidding. I actually think I’m a pretty nice guy. [insert narcissism here… oh wait, I just did].
I arrived in Rome with the two Calgarians, and they didn’t have a place to stay. My hostel was full, and so was nearly every other hostel in Rome. But randomly one of the hostels we checked out mentioned that there was a new hostel that just opened and they were invited to stay there… for a fee. 30 Euros to be precise. But considering everything else was booked, it worked out for them. And they managed to bargain the price down to 29. That was certainly worth the 45 minutes they spent haggling them. Or as Boris would say - NOT!
That night we decided to go to the Colosseum. It was actually a pretty spectacular sight. We ate gelato, had a good dinner. I had a meat lasagna and it was terribly delicious. We spent the evening walking around Rome and snapped a few pictures. It was quite a good night, actually.
The next day we tried to find the Free Walking Tour. Unfortunately, there is no website and they do not advertise in any of the hostels we walked through. I asked the guy working at the counter and he told me to ask another girl, and that girl told me to talk to another guy, and that guy referred me to the first one. I wish I had one of those flexible mallet things you use to knock people out. SMACK!
“Yeah. I think they meet at the Basilica.” So we were there, and the tour was not. But we got to see the colonnade in front of Saint Peter’s basilica. These irritating tour promoters kept waling around trying to get us to hop on their tour, for 25 euros in addition to the entry, but we said no. Multiple times.
Our group consisted of the mighty five - GI Joe, two calgarians, the HD, and me - and we saw the sights. GI Joe (a captain form the US ARMY in love with his “offical” passport) suggested we make a meeting space incase we got separated - military style. Of course we said no, and of course we got separated. So our group shrunk down to four. The basilica was pretty spectacular. When I create a religion, I have a lot to compete with. Moving on.
There is this dome thing there that Micalengo created, but I wasn’t about to pay 9 to go see it. So we hopped over the line and saw the crypts instead. The crypts full of dead popes. I think you actually have to pay to go see that, but we didn’t.
We left and spent the rest of the afternoon walking around the city. It turns out GI Joe made it to see the Sistine Chapel and the idiot bitch (one of the tour promoters) who told us we wouldn’t get in was lying. We drank on the Spanish steps, saw more touristy things, blah blah blah.
The next day was a write off because we didn’t actually do anything. Except eat, but sometimes days like that are good. And we needed one.
I forgot to mention anything about Gypsies. Rome is plagued by them. Gypsy here, Gypsy there… Gypsies stole my underwear.
Here’s a summary of that evening and the next day.
6:00 AM wake up and pack
6:30 - take Metro to the Vatican Museum
6:55 - arrive in line
6:56 - look at sign, realize Lonely Planet was wrong. it opens at 10! Not 8:45. I literally ripped the vatican page out of the book and ate it. Well, the chunk of it that said the times. Apparently ink is toxic.
7:00 - there are only 11 people ahead of us
7:30 - there are about 200 people behind us
8:00 - there are about 16 people ahead of us
9:00 - there are about 20 people ahead of us
10:00 - there are about 30 people ahead of us, and 1000 people behind us.
To the thirty people who weaseled their way infront of me: I want to stone each and every one of you. Cutting line to get to a church? GREED IS A SIN! May Gypsies steal your feet.
But we made it in. Student Jeremy paid 8 instead of 13, we saw the roof, took pictures like we wern’t supposed to, took a metro back to the hostel, grabbed our bags, and made it to the train station at 11:30. Our train left at 11:38.
Perfect Timing.
It was suggested that I head to Budapest and Prague… and I’m pretty sure I can squeeze them in as well. What do you think?
I found a free wireless network so I have a tiny bit of time to update the site. I’m heading to Santorini tomorrow (thanks for the suggestion!), and we’ll see how good another ferry ride is going to be. I’ll update the page with pictures, stories, and videos from Rome, my trip to Athens, and Athens itself the next time I have a wireless connection that is fast enough. This one is painfully slow.
But in the mean time, I had an incredibly interesting night last night. Probably the most intense hostel experience I have had yet. And thankfully, for you, I decided to take a video of it. It took me forever to upload it to youtube, but I think the clip will explain things better than I can with written words.
Again, I have found myself without Internet. Sigh.
Rome has been good. I joined a motley crew: two muslim-Canadians from Calgary, two Americans (one army commander and one liberal hippie dippy) and myself. We were slightly inappropriate, but had tons of fun.
I am making the epic journey to Athens… a 4 hour train to Anacona, a 22 hour ferry to Patras, and another 4 or 5 hour train to Athens. Plus layovers. It will be a journey. Maybe I will make a music video.
While I am gone, keep the suggestions comming about cities to visit. Those will be the ones we choose from.
Talk to you soon! Well, when I have Internet again.
Oh yeah, I havn’t had any vegitables in like 5 days. Instead, I have been eating gelato. Ha ha.
The beginning of this story actually takes place in Nice. I was sitting in the bar area with a bunch of people talking, and two of them were from Norway. We were joking around, and the subject of swearing came up and we thought it would be funny to teach them swears. So grade 5 of us. They wanted to know the worst thing you could say in English to someone… and I actually had a pretty hard time thinking of anything bad. I certainly wasn’t going to teach them any racial slurs because there would never be a circumstance where I would ever say one myself. Most social deviance is a-ok with me… but not racism. It actually really bothers me. So without crossing that one line, I actually couldn’t think of anything so bad that it would stop people in their tracks. Except for one. Most of my friends will instantly know if I abbreviate it with MC… some people say BC, but I say MC. Anyway. There are two boys from Norway going around spreading my joy. Boy, am I inappropriate.
Anyway. The reason that story came to mind is the way you pronounce Cinque. It’s not “sink” like in French. When I said it wrong, someone turned around and corrected me. I thought they were shouting out a profanity… but I was wrong.
***
I only have one interesting story from La Cinque Terre. Using the word “interesting” is a stretch in itself. It involves one of my roommates from Victoria and my favorite discussion topics. Poo. Seriously. We are so immature.
Before I get started, I can’t believe I’m typing this out on the Internet. But it really is the only thing that happened to me other than walking around beautiful beaches, eating great food, and hiking exciting trails.
So here I go. The room was great, except the toilet was, ha ha, shitty. It clogged, and I didn’t throw a toothbrush in or anything like that. And I didn’t have a particularly large… you know… either. It just clogged. There was no plunger. So I had to use one of those toilet brushes instead. And let me tell you this. Never, ever, try to unclog a toilet with a toilet bowl brush. It doesn’t work, and it’s really, really disgusting to try to fix when you realize it didn’t work.
Anyone feel like suggesting cities to visit in Germany, Austria, and Switzerland?
Nice is where I was became more sick. Super sick. And I hate being sick. Runny nose, intense headache. I brought along a travel bottle of Tylenol and I’ve mowed it all down. Stupid pills, I hate you.
I also kept my drinking to a minimum. And felt like a big L 24×7.
On my first day in Nice I really wanted to see Cannes, but on the train my headache got so bad that I swore I had some sort of sinus infection. So I went to the doctor, and it was closed, and I kicked the wall. Softly, but toe did touch stucco, or whatever cheap interior paneling they installed. What kind of doctors office is closed during the day? Taking a little siesta? !@#$ you. I’m sick. I want to see a doctor. If I had a Euro for everytime I’ve been to a closed Doctor’s office I’d be able to buy at least one Fanta. Seriously, I want one now. I whiped out my travel insurance book and gave the agency a little dingle, and the phone didn’t work. I called their 800 number and their collect number, and neither of them went through. French phone service, I hate you.
I walked into this little restaurant place and had somewhat of an adventure. This video explains it better than I could. At the time it was much more scary that in looked on film.
…
I was staying at one of those “Europe’s Best Hostels” and it was pretty cool. Big breakfast (they let me eat for free on my first day ‘cus I checked in early). Take that street vendors! They also serve 1 Euro beers, and make cheap but satisfactory pizza. I wish I could have enjoyed a few more of those beers… but I wanted to get better.
The next day I met up with someone who knew me when I was a baby and we had an amazing lunch. Real food! Vegetables! No bread. I’m so sick of bread. Everything was amazing except the milkshake I ordered. Clumpy cold nesquick or whatever that powdered hot chocolate is called. 6 Eruos for that? Next time, just let me sit on your fist. Vulgar.
I went to Monnaco to see Monte Carlo (the casino) and got to experience the wonders of a self-cleaning toilet. Have you seen Jack Ass? I was tempted to poo on the seat, ha ha. But I didn’t.
See, at times like this I wish I had a cell phone, because I would have loved to let you guys vote on that :P. Ew. I am disgusting. I hope I can get something like that working for Australia though. No, the cellphone. I wouldn’t actually poo on a toilet seat. Well, maybe if you made me.
Anyway. I realized I didn’t take any pictures while I was there! Seriously. What the hell is wrong with me. I guess it was the sick. I was still sick when I left. So I sort of regret not getting sloshed. But whatevs. I’m felling way better now.
Le Cinque Terre were unbeliviably beautiful. If I get get the wireless internet to work here, I’ll upload pictures so you can feel jealous because I got to go there and you didin’t. Actually, maybe I shouldn’t say that because you might send me somewhere shitty next time.
Now I’m not one to be mean *shifts eyes*… but I was on the train and a woman walked by and hit my head with her ass. Seriously. If there had been someone sitting on the other side of the isle, she would have hit his too. Now yes, it was my fault for spralwing over two seats… and it was probably karma pre-emptively biting me in the ass because it knew I was going to be writing all of this down. Sigh. I actually felt pretty bad for the girl. Especially when she realized the chairs were too small for her to sit in.
I’m in Florence right now. I hope the Internet doesn’t expire before I post this. I’ll try to get on later and fix the spelling mistakes and write something more thurough… and put a poll up about where to head after Greece.
[this video is stupid btw. I don’t know why I uploaded it.]
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