Wonderful Wedding

This week has certainly been a busy one.

Last week, as this picture so masterfully describes, was my faux-wedding. In preparation for the big day I grew a disgusting, I mean wonderful beard that I shaved into a mustache. The night before three of my friends threw me a little stag party and, like most of my drunken adventures, I ended up karaoke-ing Total Eclipse of the Heart. Trenton and Andrew (they are in the picture below this) performed a wonderful interpretive dance while Susan (in the skating picture) and I belted it out. I tried to sing Private Dancer, but the DJ wouldn’t let me. Funn with an extra “n”.

The next day was the happiest day of my life. It was like Disneyland. All of my friends willing to dress up in 80s garb were there, and we had a terrific time. At one point the local band Hank and Lilly showed up and serenaded me and my false wife. It was beautiful.

In the course of the evening I learned two fantastic drinking games:

1. Quarters Chase.

• People sit around a table with two cups at opposite ends.
• If a cup is in front of you, you have to bounce a quarter into it.
• When you get the quarter in, you pass the cup (and quarter) left.
• If you get the quarter in on the first time, you pass the cup to anyone (including stacking it).
• When one cup catches up with the other one (whether a person is slow or someone gets the quarter in on the first time and stacks it) the person passing the cup has to slam their cup down into the other one. If successful, the person with the two cups has to pile the two cups end to end and try to bounce the quarter into the top one. If they get it in, they can make anyone drink. If they miss, they have to drink.
• The person to the drinker’s left takes the cup and starts bouncing while the drinker drinks for an agreed-upon time. We say “take five drinks”… whatever that means.

It’s an amazingly fun game and I will put up some pictures to explain it better… eventually…

2. Spoons

• Pull out “four of a kind” equal to the number of people playing. Ex: 3 people, have AAAA, KKKK, QQQQ… I would suggest playing with more than 3 people though – it’s more fun.
• Put one spoon in the center for each person in the group, minus one. Ex: if there are 9 people playing, you pile 8 spoons.
• Everyone is dealt 4 random cards, and every second all players pass a card left. When a person has four of a kind they shout “SPOONS” and everyone tries to grab one. It can get pretty violent… and people get bruised and cut up by fingernails and grabbing. Good times!
• The person who does not end up with a spoon gets a letter “S, P, O, O, then N”. When someone loses 5 times (and has all the letters) they have to perform some task that is arranged before hand. I ran away before they made the loser lick my face.

Another really fun game.

I finally understand why people have themed weddings: they are epic. I hope yours is as incredible as mine was.