“America?”
“No. Canada.”
“America?”
“No. Canada. Here’s a picture of our flag.”
“America?”
“No. Canada. Let me get my phrase book… “Kah-na-da.”
“America?”
“No. Go away.”
We arrived in Athens after a long journey from Italy. It involved two four hour train rides, a 22 hour ferry, sneaking on to a bus without paying, trying to pay for said bus and being unable to, getting incredibly drunk, watching the Office, seeing somone gable and win 300 Euros, gambling myself and losing a few Euros, and having twirl thier shirt around their head and scream “oooooooooh” much I like do… I think he must have been imitating me.
The port town we arrived in was called Patras and boy oh boy was it a shady little town. The first thing we saw after our exodus from the vehicle was a group of migrant workers leering at us through barbed-wired fences. It could have been a cover of National Geographic.
The train station we inevitably made our way to was more a train stop than a station, but we were pleasantly surprised to find that the train was free. Finally I feel like I’m getting money out of my pass. I’m sure I saved at least two Euros. Anyway. The train sucked balls. Well, not so much sucked as in caused to sweat… ew. Why did I write that. It was standing-room-only. I was fortunate enough to score a knee-to-knee seat and had a pleasant journey starring into the eyes of a random stranger. We came to an unspoken agreement to take turns stretching out one of our legs in the tiny gap between each-others’.
Two hours later.
We had to transfer to another train, and it was extremely confusing. We really had no idea what we were doing, but trusted the group and followed them onto an unmarked train.
One hour later.
Our train skipped Athens and was heading towards the airport. We were about to get off when it suddenly stopped, and started going in the opposite direction. It’s Greek to me. Did I seriously just say that? Barfy.
Athens was, despite what I heard from many people, a beautiful city. I might have to say that I preferred it to Rome. Gasp. Our first night in the hostel was out of control. We were awoken to the sound of a snoring man, nude, walking around the hostel room. He was actually snoring, while awake. When he eventually got into bed - private regions exposed to the world - he was still snoring. And mumbling inaudible worlds. I wish there was a perfect word to describe his snore. Something that means loud, like a train horn. Something that describes how the roars penetrated any earplugs - overpowered any song on any iPod. It was a brutal experience, but at last I had the satisfaction of sharing it with a few people in the hostel and laughing all night.
A few hours later another person joined the group. He started screaming at the man to be quiet - and surprisingly it worked… for about 10 minutes. In that time the screaming man fell still, and the drunk-naked-snoring-lawnmower man started up once more. Lucky for us, screaming man joined in and started talking in his sleep.
“That was an excellent battle, my friend.”
I kid you not. It was a terrible slash incredible experience. And, surprisingly, I managed to get about five hours of sleep.
The next day we did all the touristy stuff
[insert pictures]
and went to bed in preparation for our early trip to Santorini.
I wish I could say I got a lot of sleep last night. But instead of one drunk, putrid, retched man, I was lulled awake by a chorus of six. By 5:00 AM the room smelled like poo and was hot and muggy. I hope I didn’t get a staff infection.
UPDATE
I got assaulted by bed bugs in Athens. So did Jesse (my friend who I am traveling Greece with). Can you get STDs from bedbugs?
